Just curious

Why is it that the last two times I have gone to the El Cheapo eyebrow wax place they ask me if I want my upper lip done too? What the heck..am I the bearded woman? I always get so paranoid after they ask me...I rush home to examine my "stash". OK if you look at me through a high powered magnifying glass which is super scary on so many levels, I just may have a bit of peach fuzz, don't we all.

Happy Thanksgiving!

WE had a great one...and the Longhorns won!! Whoo Hoo!!! We always have Thanksgiving at my parents house. I am so thankful that they still host. I think that I would go insane trying to put together such an amazing meal. Thanks Mom!!!

This just cracked me up

One kiddo loves taking pictures, the other not so much!

Oprah's Favorite Things for a Thrifty Holiday

This year Oprah is having a Thrifty Holiday. Can you imagine finding out that you are in the audience for the favorite things episode, you are in near tears imagining all of the free stuff that you will be getting to take home and then learning...ladies and gentleman this is a thrifty Christmas special, all of my favorite things can be made or bought at the dollar store. Anyway, if you go to her website you can download a Christmas Holiday CD for free:
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20081118_tows_holiday/2

Great Date

Jeff and I finally had a great date! We had one little tiff, but for the most part got along. There was no candle and horse drawn carriage, but I'm not complaining!

Girl Fight

Ella and Claire got into it over cleaning up. Ella managed to get a good one in and scratched Claire's face. I will take picture and post it later. I have never been in a fight. My brother was 9 1/2 years younger than me so we never got physical. I am not really sure how to handle this throw down. Speaking of a throw down, I came close this morning...ok it was close in my head. I am basically a chicken. I think like a big shot, but I am a wimp. Well, we had just parked at the gym, we scored a parking spot in front next to the sidewalk. My lucky day. I pull Ella out of her car seat and start to go around to get Claire out of the passenger side when a beautiful, LARGE Audi SUV pulls in the spot next to mine. There was literately 7 inches between the other car and mine. The lady opened up her car door, of course hitting mine. I stare at her she looks at me and says in an English accent.."What?" I informed her that I have a child in the car and it is going to be difficult to get her out. "Oh", she replies while primping herself and slathering on a heavy coat of lip gloss. "Seriously?" I mutter under my breath, as I try to keep Ella out of the street. I watch in disbelief as she shimmies her way out of the car and walks off. I was so close to a throw down. If my kiddos were not there, I would have really laid into her, verbally of course. I did the only thing I could do, open the car and attempt to squeeze little Claire out of the car door. I really wanted to aggressively open the door to teach her a lesson, but Santa is watching so I didn't do it. The car was still there after my class. Once again I had to squeeze my arm and Claire's body into the car. I did utter a curse...may you gain five pounds on your butt and thighs you witch. So if you see an oddly shaped woman struggling to get out of her Audi... I did it!!

Romance

We have a date tonight. Whoo Hoo! It has been quite a while. The sad thing is that usually our date nights end up in a fight. There is something very stressful about creating a perfect evening. Wish us luck. Check out this commercial. Nice...

203

This is my 203rd post. Crazy! I seldom have writers block, that is until the dreaded family Christmas letter. The ultimate year in review. How much do you write about, how little...does anyone really care?? I sat down and listed all of this years milestones. The list was pretty short. The highlight of the year is that Ella is potty trained and loves her princess panties. I think to myself, do my friends and family really care? I want to write something witty and creative, but nothing is coming to mind. My goal is to get this done this weekend. Perhaps if I drink another glass or two of wine I will find my creativity and desire to make my life sound so much better than it really is!

Redheads protest Wendy's

I ran across this and just cracked up!

new look

A few weeks ago I was really in love with my hair. It looked good! Things have now taken a turn for the worse. I can't figure out what happened. I can't do anything with it, it looks like crap. I have this Farrah Fawcett wing thing going on and unless I flat iron it, I look strange. I am so tempted to to just cut off the flippy wing thing, but in my experience this is not something I should attempt. I have a habit of getting irritated with my hair and "fixing" it with scissors. I am also in the habit of doing this after two glasses of wine. I'm sure you can see my problem. My stylist last time shook her head and asked if I was cutting while under the influence. I would like to avoid the humiliation this time around. I have an appointment on December 11th to get a cut, can I wait that long, can I resist the pull of the scissors in the drawer??

On another note, how do you like the new look on my blog. I was getting sick of the other one. If my hair can't look good at least my blog can.

santa diaries

Daddy: "So what did you like about visiting Santa on Tuesday?"
Ella: "He talks a lot. He is sooo cute. He has a furry face. I love him"
Daddy: "Mommy, So how did the trip to mall to see Santa go?"
Me: "I need a drink."

It sure beat last year when both girls screamed in terror, but it was the after photo melt down that took the cake this year. Claire had a moment that I thought that she was about to lose it, but Santa being the professional he is talked calmly to her. His voice was so soft and melodic that he put both girls into some sort of a trance. Just check out their expressions. After the photo however, the magic wore off and world war 3 broke out over a bag of cheerios. What share? I had to drag Ella to a corner in the mall and put her into timeout. Claire looked over at her with a smug expression on her face while she attempted to eat the whole bag before Ella got out of time out. Ella straightened up her act and then in Macy's Claire lost it. She wanted to walk at a snails pace and drag her new jacket on the ground. I tried everything to get her to either ride in the stroller, or let me put her jacket on. Nope, screaming, throwing herself on the floor. I finally had to strap her into the stroller. She was screaming, kicking, the whole nine yards. Time to o...I was thanking my lucky stars that Ella was at least behaving. Spoke too soon, in Nordstrom's she decided that she wanted to ride in the stroller too. I had to drag her out while pushing Claire who was in totally melt down mode. I was drenched in sweat, on the verge of tears, wanting to die. I loaded them kicking and screaming into the car, shut the door and stood outside my car crying. All I can say is Santa bring me a vacation please!

santa now and then

Self esteem Buster

I had to work today. It went pretty good. Kids at any age react differently to a new teacher, so I had to lay down the law. For a group of four year olds, this entails saying "I like it when you are sitting down, I like the way you are listening, is writing on the table really the best choice..." Yep, I fell back into teacher mode just fine. After working, I went over to my parent's house for lunch. I picked up the girls after school and was chatting with a few other moms with two children. One of them made a comment, "how did you do it with the kiddos so close together?" I responded, "I have no idea, I just lived day by day." I wanted to add a few glasses of wine here and there made all of the difference. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty good about my mothering skills, I was tossing out advice right and left. I was feeling like a very competent mom. I should have known while riding on this high of praise, that I would come crashing down. The other shoe just had to drop at some point.

I was putting Claire into the car. She was throwing a full on fit, I wrestled her into the car seat, threw my keys in the front seat and closed the door. I went to load Ella into the car when I noticed that her car door was locked. I calmly walked around to the other door and it was locked too. I could feel my heart start to race as I checked all of the doors..all locked. I felt like vomiting, I could feel the sweat building up under my pits (Degree prescription strength does not work ladies, save yourself the $$). I ran over to my friends and informed them of the situation. They were such a calming force, I had to borrow a cell phone since mine was in the car. I looked into my car window and there lay my keys mocking me. At least Claire was content, she loved having everyone stare at her in the window. I called 311, they transferred me to 911. Embarrassing...the guy asked if I wanted the firetruck to come with sirens and lights. I muttered no, and tried not to start crying. I felt like such an idiot. As the truck approached I contemplated crawling under my car in embarrassment. I resisted the desire and dealt with the situation at hand. Thank goodness they did not send the "hot" fire guys, it was embarrassing enough trying to hide my pit stains. Claire loved having the firemen work on her door. So I learned my lesson, super mom I am not. WE all try hard but parenting is messy. You aren't trying if you aren't crying here and there! I sadly felt better once I read the article about Jennifer Garner doing the same thing..hey at least I didn't have the paparazzi watching!

STOP IT

I start my job tomorrow. The past two weeks I have been just observing. I have already screwed myself out of my hourly wage. I spent the past few days planning, finding crafts, activities, centers for these kiddos. I think that I have spent a total of 4 to 5 hours planning...so now my hourly wage is not even worth the gas money. I hate that I can't stop myself, this is suppose to be just a little extra money, no stress...easy. I am making it more than I should. I have to let it go, this is not my career, just a part time job. Damn work ethic!!!

Ella went to her first theater performance today with her GG and Papa. She loved it. Claire was so ticked that she had to stay home that she decided to jot her feelings down all over the tile in crayon. Nice...

Wonder this!

The other day I went in search of a new bra. Since Victoria's secret has discontinued my lowly size, I shop at Ross. They actually have a fairly good selection of name brands in my size. I bought a wonder bra. It promised so much. The truth is after purchasing I am "wondering" why it doesn't work for me. I wonder why the promise of a half a cup is lost on me. Oh, well it was only 7>00, so I can't spend too much time wondering.

On an interesting note... my cousin's art work will be displayed in the White house. My cousin Luther Gerlach sold a few of his pictures to Michelle Obama in Chicago a few years back. I have one of his pieces hanging in my house. Check out his website:
http://www.luthergerlach.com. He has made quite a name for himself in LA amongst the Hollywood types. His circle of friends and acquaintances are so out of my league!

 
 
 

Family resemblance??? I'm still looking for signs that my girls look anything lioke my side of the family!

Oh poopy diaper

Check this out. Warning it is 28 min long about the economy, but so worth it!
www.iousathemovie.com

a day

I went to the gym today. My instructor has had a sick kiddo , so she was out. we had a sub who was great, but there wasn't any hip shaking. I totally love to wiggle it just a little bit at the gym. At home I am soooo lame so it is fun to act like I can dance.

Anyway, I attended a "birthday" party for a website. There was rumors of great give aways, food and wine. I got a juice box and goldfish. there was wine, but no one offered it to me and I was not feeling up to being bold. I shyly sucked down two juice boxes..hey I was parched! OK...apparently all of the ultra rich women and their "perfect" children were in attendance. Somehow everyone else got these great gift bags, but me. I was only wearing target brand clothes so I stood out. It was a sweater dress soiree. All of the clothes for kiddos at the shop were 50 and up. You did get a 15% discount...ohhh. I bought something from the clearance rack, a t-shirt for Ella for 15$ thinking that I would still get the 15% off on top of it, nope.

Money doesn't buy you class or sweet kiddos... just a nanny!!! If you have money I'm not bashing you, just a little bit jealous. I would kill for a nanny when my "perfect" child chooses to throw a temper tantrum in the middle of a parking lot!

cheap skate

As a child, I can remember being mortified if my mother went into Kmart. There was one time that I hid under the seat of our station wagon in the Las Vegas summer heat, while my mother went into the store just to make sure no one saw me there. When I was 13 I would have never thought that as an adult I would be a Ross Dress for Less kind of girl and not a Macy's platinum card holder. I thought that I would share a few great money saving websites. You can find out about deals and freebies. I was just enrolled into another diaper study. Free diapers baby! Don't get freaked out when you read some of the forums. I am warning you there are a lot of people with tons of time on their hands.

http://www.mommysavers.com/
http://www.thriftyfloridamama.net/
http://www.cafemom.com/group/2730/boards/index.php?email_id=208798146

My favorite and most reliable site for black Friday advance notice is http://www.blackfday.com/

comic relief

We went to the movie Madagascar 2 today. It was Ella's first movie, I dropped of Claire at my parents house. Ella did great, however I think her favorite part was the popcorn! Tonight my hubby and I were laying in bed with her. He was asking about the movie. I have read that children at this age cannot jump from topic to topic, when they talk about their day, they REALLY talk about it. Jeff heard how Ella had to go potty after we bought the popcorn. She talked about the fact that she wouldn't go because of the automatic flushing toilet. She talked about how I spilled some of the popcorn in the stall trying to pull up her pants. She was kind enough to mention that I said, "shit" after I spilled the popcorn. She talked about the chair, the screen, the noise, but the only thing that she said about the movie was...."penguins have no nipples."

who knew

I went into Barnes and Noble the other day and the security alarms went off when I walked through the door. No one took notice, so I just went about my business. On my way out the door, after purchasing a book on the discount shelf (that's a shout out to my hubby). I merrily went on my way, and again the security alarms went off. The store had several more customers by now. I looked around for an employee and only got the stink eye from a few of the patrons. I dug through my purchases to prove that I had my receipt. I attempted to leave again and was once again accosted by the ear splitting noise. The manager came rushing down the aisles of books to confront me. I showed him my receipt to prove that I had indeed purchased the books. I attempted again to walk through the doors. Again with the alarms! The manager politely asked me if I bought my jeans at Old Navy. Figuring that he was checking out my butt, I batted my eyes, basking in the flattery and confirmed that indeed, I purchased my jeans from Old Navy. He was easy on the eyes for a 19 year old. I was flattered until he said, "if you forget to cut out the tag from your jeans...you know the one that says removed after purchasing , our alarms sometimes go off." The sad thing is, is that my jeans are over a year old and I never cut out the tag. So, if you plan on going into Barnes and Noble check your jeans, no one really cares about your butt.

spike and spelling

Today we went to the zoo. This zoo is a total redneck zoo. The highlight of the day was a deer named "spike" with a giant rack. Spike befriended us. The girls loved their new friend!

I survived this weekend! Ella's party was a hit. I was afraid that she would become emotional and cry about something, nope! She was as happy as a clam. I only managed to make one mistake and that was misspelling royalty on the sign in front of our house. For those of you who regularly read my blog, I am sure that you have noticed my lack luster ability to spell. I just need to hire an editor!

For Ella's birthday wish, she has asked for "Santa to come because I am good." That is one wish I can make sure happened. What will we do when she wishes for a car or for her one true loves kiss?

Ella's birthday

I will post more commentary after I get a good nights sleep. I am exhausted!

Bitter Sweet

We just got back from a viewing for my friends father that passed away. There were so many people there that loved him. My friend is holding up surprisingly well. I can't imaging how difficult it must be for her. It was nice catching up with old friends and being there for my friends. On the lighter side... I have been running around at warped speed this week. My future sister in law watched the kiddos so we could attend the viewing. I was so proud of myself getting everything on my list checked off. That all was dust in the wind when I realized while walking to the car after chatting with several dozen people that my fly was down the entire time. I was wearing black pants and my panties were Clorox white. Nice... Well at least I may have given some of the mourners a little chuckle.

Truth

I got this from a friend of mine, thought that I would share!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why"
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."?
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

The joys of IBS

Yes I am a proud caring member of the IBS community. I am a connoisseur of toilet paper and public restrooms. I am a fan of flushable wipes and magazines in the restroom. Ok, I'm not proud, but that is the card that I have been dealt..deal with it. My trigger is salt lick BBQ (not that it stops me from partaking) and stress. This weeks culprit is stress. Too much going on this week! Well, this morning I was treated to an extended stay in the bano el Kopp. Kids are crying, fights are breaking out, and I am hunkering down for the long haul on the porcelain god. A few hours later I am ready to venture to the library. Yes, voting is going on so I am aware of the potential crowds, but not concerned. That is, until we are about a block away..IBS time. My body screams find a potty NOW. I yell, I moan, I cry out and my kiddos giggle. I literally drag them into the library. Claire is crying, Ella is looking a little bewildered until she is dragged into the front entrance of the library. "My mommy needs to potty now" she states matter a factually to the line of voters. "Go mommy, don't have an accident, listen to your body." I am green with illness and red with embarrassment, all in all a lovely shade of hideous. I shove the girls into the luxurious handicapped stall. Just made it. Then Ella and Claire both clap and cheer, "mommy went poo poo , yeah mommy, you made it!" Then my fantastically observant child noticed the maxi pad that I am wearing and proclaims, "No Claire mommy had an accident, mommy went poo poo in her panties." I attempt to explain but just give up and then I hear giggling from two stalls away. Mortified, yes... I am. After the bathroom incident, we go to check out a few books and I am cautiously looking out for the phantom giggler. We go up to the librarian and hand her our books. The sweet woman asks my daughter the dreaded question, "So how are you today?" Ella replies matter of factually, "Mommy had some problems in the potty, she didn't poo poo in her panties, it just looks like it." Nice.

what a rip

I remember when I looked forward to the time change.. an extra hour of sleep. Score!! That was before kids, now I dread it. Kids don't understand that it is 6:30 NOT 7:30. So much for that extra hour, it is more like one less hour for parents.

Life before kiddos... one of my girlfriends doesn't get the flu shot just because if she gets the flu then she had a good reason to be at home and off of work. Makes sense! As a mom, the LAST thing you want to do is get sick. Being sick just means you still have to do everything, you just feel like crap doing it all. You are lucky if you get a little sympathy. If for some reason you do get an opportunity to rest, the house falls apart which means just more work for you. No mommy sick days available per job description.

Claire still has a fever. I took her to minute clinic last night to rule out strep throat, she had been complaining about her throat. It was negative...a big 100.00 negative! She still has a fever this morning and had difficulty sleeping last night. She needs to kick this today. Secretly I am enjoying her snuggles and desire to lay in bed with me. Usually she is off running the second she opens her eyes.

Mama Drama

Mama drama and a little video to make you giggle. After today I need a giggle!

I never thought of myself as the dramatic one. OK, my husband and mother would I am sure beg to differ. I do talk a lot of smack behind closed doors but I really don't like to be in the midst of conflict. I am the type that shy away from confrontation and sticks my head in the sand. I appear to blow things off and go home and complain about it after the fact. We are having some mamma drama in my daughter's class over birthdays. I won't get into the details because it really is a little silly. Bottom line is I am planning to bring Ella's class a treat in honor of her birthday in the morning and the other mother is bringing something in the afternoon for her child. I think this is a perfectly logical compromise. We will see... I just may have a voodoo doll floating around somewhere. Ella's poor teacher is having to deal with the drama.

I had my first day of work today. Claire came down with a fever on Saturday night and has yet to be fever free for 24 hours, so I had to madly attempt to find someone to watch her while I was at work. The job will be just that ...a job to make a few extra bucks. I will have to get use to the nose picking, the burps, and the whining from other peoples children. I will have to refer back to my teacher voice and positive statements. I am so use to saying, "Get your finger out of your nose, that is nasty." That so wouldn't fly in the classroom. I will politely have to say, "Please get a tissue if you are having an issue." I will have to remember that sarcasm is not appropriate. "So how's that working for ya" would be totally lost on a preschooler.

One more thing, my best friend's father passed away last night. Even though you don't know her, I am sure that good thoughts and/or prayers would be greatly appreciated during this difficult time.

Texas Book fest

This was our first year attending the Book Fest. It was great. Afterwords, we went to the mattress store to buy Ella a mattress for her big girl bed. We are moving her out of her toddler bed. It was about an hour after their nap time. In retrospect, not a great idea. The girls were attempting to "try out" every bed. I was secretly hoping that they would give us a killer deal just to get us out of the store. We gave up, and took them home for their nap. Jeff went out later and got a really good deal. My hero! We went to a birthday party in the evening and then set up her new bed. She is in her room now "sleeping" we will see how it goes!
Gotta run and guzzle down a beer, our Texas Longhorns are playing Tech and are having a little trouble pulling their head out of their.... anyway I'm sure if I drink a beer it will help them out. Cheers!