What is enough? I am struggling with this question today. Eleven
years ago, I was teaching second grade.
I finally had my dream class after a few years of very challenging classes. One day a few weeks into the school year, I
saw a child walking the track with the Vice Principal. The little boy was
screaming curse words at him and sobbing.
That same day the VP came up to me and asked me to take the cursing
child into my class. I had mixed
feelings about it. The little boy was
brought to my classroom so I could meet him.
I looked at him, his beautiful blue eyes peeking out under a mop of
tangled, dirty hair, and knew that he needed me. I
never saw that angry boy that walked the track.
M was smart, kind, and had a huge heart.
I asked the man that I was dating at the time to be his mentor. He said “Sure!” I ended up marrying that man and we continued
to be a part of M’s life. We took him on
trips, advocated for him in the foster care system, and had him spend a holiday
with us. It wasn’t enough… M is now 18.
He has survived his mother getting killed, his father dying in prison, being
abandoned by other family members more than once, the foster care system, getting
adopted at14, and then getting kicked out soon as he turned 18. Two days ago, I received a message from the
county jail saying that M had called. I
have missed the phone call three times now.
He must feel like we abandoned him.
Could I have done more to save him from this childhood? I feel sick to my stomach that the answer
could be, yes. I contacted the Sheriff
and am trying to communicate with M. This is what I want him to know:
M,
I don’t know why you
are in jail and I don’t really care. It
does not change the fact that we love you and care about you. We always will, no matter the good or bad
choices you make. We care about you unconditionally. We have always tried to make sure that you
knew that your past does not define you.
You have faced more tragedy and pain in your short 18 years than most
people have in their lifetime. There is
nothing I can do to make that better.
You are smart and you have an amazing heart despite your
experiences. My hope for you is that you
find freedom from your pain and anger. I
hope you embrace your future and find happiness. We love you M.
6 comments:
I'm sorry to hear this, Melissa. I hope you do get in touch with him. He sounds like he really needs someone on his side right now.
Melissa...this post hits so close to home. I don't know if there is such thing as enough...but as a child who only made it because of adults like you in my life: THANK YOU! His story is not over. Praying that you can continue to pour grace and love in his life.
Blessings to your sweet family,
Amanda
Melissa, thank God for beautiful hearts like yours.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. They mean more than you know. Spoke to the jail and it appears he may be moved to another county, but they had no idea when. I just hope my letter get to him before he is moved.
You did make a difference in his life, or he wouldn't have called you. He knows you love him.
What a powerful post. Thank you for sharing. Obviously you make a difference in the lives of the children you work with, and you likely don't know how very special and unique you are. At Oxford Learning it is such a privilege to work with educators like you and to help make a difference in the lives of the young people we work with. You make a difference every day. And he knows you love him.
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