Shower

I helped host a baby shower for one of my best friends. This is her first baby, it was so much fun. It reminded me of my first shower... I received so many wonderful gifts, I left the shower feeling giddy with excitement. Once I got home however, I was filled with panic. I surveyed all of the new gadgets and realized that I had no idea what some of them were for and how I was suppose to use them. What kind of mom will I be if I don't even know how this dummy proof swaddle blanket works. Then the final nail on the coffin...the breast pump. Does anyone remember opening up that sucker (literally) up for the first time. I remember thinking what the heck??? It looked like a cross between a cow's milking machine and a mid evil torture device. Mine came with a video tape to watch. I remember watching it and saying forget this, I still don't get it. I packed it back up into the box and forced myself to forget about it. It was only once I got home with little Ella who was screaming, my breasts hot with pain, and nothing was working that I opened the box again. First time moms, I do not recommend trying to figure a pump out when your baby is screaming, your are throbbing in pain, and you are sobbing. Not a good mix...

bipeds

Claire took her first steps yesterday. She just bubbled with excitement. She couldn't stop giggling. I will post a picture when I catch her walking. I am having mixed emotions, thrilled that she is a biped now, but a little teary that my baby is now a toddler. Sniff, sniff... they grow so fast.

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Panty Lines

My mom and I have been taking a great hip hop dance class at our gym. I must say it is a little discerning watching my Mom getting her grove on to Ferggie singing, "You love my lady lumps, My hump my hump my hump. Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside your trunk ". Who knew when I was a teenager that I would be shaking it with my mom and not running for cover with embarrassment. I think it is really cool now, she can really shake that thang. Mom and I have been going for about 5 months. I always wear the same gray yoga pants from old navy. They fit snuggly as they should, but are very comfy. Last week, I overheard some twenty something girls snickering about my panty line. My mom claimed that they were just jealous of my moves, but when I got home I checked out my "hump" in the mirror. There was a tiny bit of a line. Now if I was going out I would have been a little more careful, but this was a gym. I love those pants so I started to think what I could do to minimize the tiny line. Ummm... a thong or commando was all I could think of. The thong...haven't worn one since my early twenties, now the goal is to find some panties that won't sneak up there. I just can't bring myself to do the thong again, and the thought of working out with one on makes me cringe..chaffing. Now onto my next solution ...commando. Let's see I have had two kiddos in two years and how can I put this politely... Occasionally a sneeze isn't just a sneeze and lets face it is always allergy season in Austin. So potential chaffing, or an embarrassing wet mark.

I think I will just stick with the panty line, my entire hump prefers coverage. If I get too desperate I can try the new panty the C-string. You have to check it out, it is seriously a maxi pad panty https://www.cstringdirect.com/
Then again, I think that a little line is how should I say this... reassuring!

High waist is back!

Yep.. you heard right.. break out the mommy jeans, the high waist is back. I have mixed feelings about the reemergence of the high waisted jean. On one hand, high waisted jeans help cover the extra lovin' most of us have in our middle section and have the power to stop the current crack (butt, that is) addiction sweeping the world. On the other hand, many will see this as the okay to pull their Sevens up to their ears and to bring back the dreaded stone wash jean.

P.S. It's strange that high waisted jeans become "hot" after Britney Spears becomes a mom? Coincident? I THINK NOT! It's a conspiracy I tell you!

Oh Rats!

Well, I survived today. I don't know if it was the windy weather but Ella and Claire were in rare form. Ella was whining non stop all day long. Claire was irritated by everything. I have had two bottles of beer, the girls are in bed and I am feeling much better.

I want to state from the get go that this is my husbands fault... Yesterday, Ella dropped her bowl of cereal and yelled, "Oh Sh*$!", I thought that I was hearing things because her usual expression is, "Oh, Dear!". A few minutes later, after dropping her toy she said the same thing, I chose to ignore it and give her another word to use. I thought that we had cured the sh&^s, but then again today when she bonked her head she said it again. A wise friend of mine, said that perhaps I should introduce her to the expression, "rats". We will see how it works, if it doesn't work then it is sooo my husbands fault. That little Sh%$... I mean rat!

The Abdul

So three weeks ago, I went to my ridiculously expensive hairdresser for a cut. I love him, but can only afford to go every four months or so. He IS Edward Scissorhands. He doesn't chat just whips out his scissors, twirls them around his fingers and goes to work. Hair flies in every direction, and when he is done...perfection. This time he asked me what I would like, I said that I would like something that is "in", but with little or no maintenance. That was it, he went to work flexing his tattooed arms, a scowl on his face reminiscent of Zoolander's magnum. He let out a sigh when he was done examining his masterpiece. I turned to face the mirror exhilarated from his pulling and pawing of my hair. Ummm...yeah, not what I had expected. I looked like I just woke up after a hard night of drinking. My hair was so poofy, layered, and just plain big. Dallas hair maybe, not the sleek low maintenance Austin hairdo.

I got home and my hubby replied, "Wow, you have the Rachel haircut." He was so proud of his pop culture reference. Yes, thats right ladies, THE Rachel circa 1993. I ran upstairs and washed my styled hair thinking that it would be better if I did it. Well my stylist was right, low maintenance. It looked just like it did when I came out of the salon. How could this be a fashionable haircut? The look, or so I thought was straight and sleek.

Last week I was watching American idol and I found my cut. I have the Abdul. So if you see me, this is not the Rachel, but the Abdul. Feel free to follow the trend, I on the other hand will be trying to grow mine out.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter everyone! I am too exhausted to write more than that this evening. I think I will have a glass of wine and take a bath. the Easter Bunny has a tough job!

Who is afraid of the big bad face painter??

We had a great day, this morning we went to have breakfast with the Easter bunny at Nordstrom's. Such a deal the kiddos still eat free, and we all get a fabulous breakfast. The best part is the fresh squeezed orange juice! Anyway, this year Ella was thrilled about sitting on the Easter Bunnies lap, sure beats the wailing last year! While she was being entertained with a story I ran and got in line for the face painter. We were third in line, but the lady was about 15 minutes late. The line snaked through the aisle of the store. I was secretly so proud of myself securing such a great spot in line. Ella picked out her design, a glittery butterfly and watched intently as a few kiddos went before her. Her turn... she screamed, the lady drew something on my hand to prove that it didn't hurt. Ella would not budge and her "no, no, mama, no" was getting louder and louder. In Ella's defense, the lady had fairly impressive dragon breath and reeked of cigarettes. So much for my coveted spot in line.

We left and headed to our church which was putting on an Easter Extravaganza. Ella participated in an egg hunt and I once again scored first place in line for the pony ride. The line was growing behind me and truth be told I was scared that once again drama would ensue. Shock of shocks, she allowed herself to be hoisted up onto the pony and was off with two trainers going for a stroll through the field, all alone, smiling from ear to ear. No fear! After the ride she was able to hold a little bunny, once again no fear.

Moral of this story...barn yard animal breath is much preferred over dragon breath.

Are we having fun yet???

My hubby and I decided that we would try to go to the family swim time once a week at our gym. They have a great zero entry indoor pool with heated water. Perfect! Last night was our first night to try this out with both of the girls. I dressed them in their matching swim suits and cover ups, made sure the bag was packed, found my hubby's swim trunks, and ran upstairs to get on my suit. I tore through my bag of old suits looking for the one that had the most coverage. Maintenance has not been on my list lastly, girls you know what I am getting at. I found one that looked like it would work, threw it on and we left the house. After several agonizing minutes, Ella wants her shoes, she doesn't want her shoes, she wants to take her swim suit off, ect. we stroll into the nice warm water. The girls are happily splashing around I am sitting in the water and notice that my swim suit bottoms are billowing around me, to the point that no amount of maintenance would have been enough. My seven year old suit had apparently decided that its elastic was a thing of the past. I crawled on my knees with Claire, and attempted to avoid the several fathers teaching their little boys to snorkel, masks and all. What an underwater show I must have been. My squirmy daughter in one hand and my other hand desperately trying to keep my bottoms covering the necessary parts. A few of the snorkeling dads tried to chat with me, I was feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. My husband was off splashing with Ella. After crawling on my knees for about twenty minutes, I finally shouted uncle and begged Jeff to bring me a towel. Standing for what seemed like eternity with my droopy drawers I finally had a towel wrapped around my waist. By this time both girls were crying and I was eying the young couples relaxing in one of the four hot tubs.

Both girls were in rare form in the family changing room, by the time we got out of there, they were in tears, and we were red with frustration. Both of my knees had begun to ache and had visible bruises. We may go for family swim hours next time, but the kiddos will be in the child care and I will be in a hot tub with a swim suit that fits!

As for the swimsuit, Claire has decided that it makes an excellent headscarf.

Happy St. patrick's Day

We had a great day floating the Riverwalk in San Antonio. The water was an uncanny hue of green, or should I say emerald... Did you notice in the photo that I am in fact in it AND I am wearing lipstick. Ha!! Now the fact that both of the girls are not looking anywhere in the vicinity of the camera does by no means bother me. I look decent. We all can remember the old days when we liked a picture not because our friends looked good, but that we looked great. One of my favorite photos is of myself and my two best girlfriends. One friend looks like she is about to vomit, the other has her eyes half closed, but I look pretty darn good. I don't know if it was the lighting, or the half drunk expression on my face, but it was perhaps one of my best shots. It was taken during the days of non digital cameras, so I was unable to photoshop. Ahhh.. vanity it is truly a curse. Thanks to photoshop no one has to know!

Where is my lipstick

The other day I was looking through family photos. There is me, my dad, my brother, the dog, but no mom. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in the albums. I glanced at my albums with my family photos. The same theme is prevalent throughout. Dad, kids, even the dog...no mom.

For years, my mom complained that she was never in any pictures. She was the one to remember to take a photo and no one took her picture. Did she even go on many family vacations, looking at the pictures one would think not. I vaguely remember tuning her out when she would rant about the fact that once again, there were no pictures of her. Now I feel her pain.

Granted, vanity seems to be an issue. I have never heard my husband shout, "don't take a picture of me, my hair is a mess, and I have no makeup on". He could care less, dirty shirt, messed up hair, he is all smiles for the camera. It will be my new mission to make sure that the photo archives show that I too was there. I will suck it up and let my photo get snapped even without lipstick. I will remind myself that there is such a thing as photoshop. I can fix myself up later on the computer.

I will demand to have my photo taken, BUT I will always make sure that my lipstick is in my pocket. Vanity is a hard thing to shake. Now where is my lipstick? I have a feeling it is in the washing machine because I forgot to check my pockets. Maybe I will have to rethink the lipstick in the pocket thing!

success!

After a few tears and a lollipop we got a few good ones...and a few not so good ones. I only had to take 87 pictures!

Smile, Cheese...just please look at the camera!!

My goal today was to get a photo of both of the girls for Easter cards. As you can see I was once again unsuccessful. I am going to try again at my mom's house this afternoon. My plan is to dress them in their Easter dresses and have them pose in my mother's flower garden. I will post a few pictures if they work out. I have opted for the mommy taken photo after our last experience at a portrait studio.

Valentine's day photo shoot. Both girls dressed in matching red outfits. Claire smiling and laughing. Ella sobbing in the corner. Snot bubbles and tears. Strategically placed hair bow thrown on the floor. "no, no mommy", screamed at an ear piercing pitch. Sweat beading on my brow. Flushed with embarrassment. Bribery, pleading. A Lego pitched at the photographer. Time out. 20.00 later a picture of Claire giggling on a stuffed puppy. No Ella, discovering that my deodorant can't handle the antics of a two year old. Priceless!!!

Those cute little bits

This has been a very busy week. I had over several friends from my MOM's group on Wednesday. We blew up our jump tent and let the kiddos tucker themselves out. It was a beautiful day. The girls are doing much better, Claire is down to three tissues a day, this is a far cry from the 18 + two days ago.

Ella has decided that she is the boss of bath time. She is the washcloth Nazi. Every little inch of Claire body is scoured, gently of course with soap and a wash cloth courtesy of Ella. The other day she announced it's time to wash Claire's bits. Bits is what my hubby calls the nether regions. It was hilarious watching Claire's eyes light up with surprise as Ella began her self initiated chore. Cleaning Claire's bits has now become a very serious affair, one that Ella insists must be done.

Flea Fly Flu

Well the flu has left the building...or so I thought. I just discovered my hubby under all of the blankets in our bedroom moaning. Now this is the baby I am not looking forward to nursing back to health. Give me strength not to roll my eyes and sigh when he says how sick he is.

Both girls are doing better. Ella is 100% well and Claire has a sinus infection as well as an ear infection, but is on the yummy pink stuff. The doctor swears that they are no longer contagious. I don't know about you but seeing the pink medication in the fridge brings back memories of childhood. Ahhh... I recall mom just calling the doctor and a new bottle of the pink stuff would appear. It tasted like cherries and bubble gum. You felt so special when you had to go down to the nurses office during school to take it. I would slowly inch my way down the empty hallway peaking in at the poor suckers still huddled over their math assignments while I was free. My hand clutching my laminated blue hall pass. At the nurses office, she would pull open the mini fridge and sort through the 10 to 20 other bottles filled with the cold yummy pink stuff.

Boy have times changed, it is like pulling teeth to get the doctor to believe that your kiddo needs the pink stuff. I almost felt like a lottery winner this morning when the doctor pulled out her little prescription pad. I drove to the pharmacy as quick as I could to pick up the pink stuff. I gave Claire her dose then sighed in relief. Well that was until I went upstairs to discover an email from a friend warning about the dangers of the pink stuff. In fact, it eluded to the fact that jumping for joy for the pink stuff was just bad parenting. So whats new...I can never win.

Now shoo flu shoo!

Down for the count

The evil flu came knocking at our door and I let it in. I have no idea how I managed to get the flu type A. I was dutiful about getting the flu shot for the whole family in October, I am fastidious about hand washing, and I don't have time for it! It started on Monday evening with a tickle in my throat and by 1:30 am I had a raging fever. Once I woke up I dragged myself down stairs and disinfected the whole down stairs, yes at 1:30 in the morning!

I barely limped through Tuesday. Thank goodness my mom was around to help. I knew whatever I had was bad because usually I can manage to push through the day, but I couldn't get out of bed. After I still was no better, perhaps even worse I went to the minute clinic, tested positive for the flu. I started taking tamiflu and now left things to my husband I woke up occasionally to spray a fine mist of Lysol all over the house.

The girls still got it. Claire on Thursday, and Ella on Friday. I was secretly hoping that they would just lay in bed and sleep like I had done. Nope! Claire has been moaning and crying on and off for the past 48 hours. Ella has a fever as well as a serious case of the twos. There is no laying on the sofa watching Elmo, no... she is pulling out every toy, throwing balls at her sister meanwhile I am attempting to whisper in a loud voice "NO". Oh yeah, did I mention a lovely side effect of my flu is that I have no voice. I bypassed the sexy voice that comes with throat irritation directly to a whisper.

Claire is developing quite an interesting scratchy voice. She sounds like a 50 year old smoker. Gotta go and attempt to pick up the house. It is a mess and I am going crazy because no one can hear a darn word I am saying. I think my hubby is secretly pleased, is it nagging if no one hears you?