At what age do we go from being carefree in our nakedness to being mortified by it? My girls run around thrilled to be free from clothes or diapers. When was that slumber party that you learned how to take off your bra under your shirt and whip it through the arm hole? It must be the end of elementary school or the beginning of middle school.
Remove my clothes in public and remove my brain. The few massages that I have had I find myself stumbling over to the table, fighting with the the towel coverage. I went to the gym today and went to the eucalyptus steam room. I fought with my towel the entire time, tripped while making my way to the shower. Once my husband questioned me about the nakedness in the locker room. I had to explain that as Seinfeld observed, there is good naked and bad naked. I don't care who you are but anyone crouched over rummaging through their gym bag looking for their panties qualifies as bad naked.
For those of you not familiar with the Seinfeld episode:
- "So she coughed."
- "Coughing? Naked? It's a turn-off, man."
- "Everything goes with naked."
- "When you cough there are thousands of unseen muscles that suddenly spring into action. It's like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in his stomach in slow motion."
- "You spoiled spoiled man. You know how much mental energy I expend just trying to picture women naked?"
- "But the thing you don't realize is that there's good naked and bad naked. Naked hair brushing - good. Naked crouching - bad."
1 comment:
Makes it tough to really relax during that massage. You should have seen me when I got my Mother's Day massage when I was like 8 months pregnant. And it was a guy massager!
Post a Comment