Spin this!

Due in part to my daughter's comments on my gut and my burning desire to feel cool I attempted a spin class. I was apparently not firing on all cylinders when I decided to attend. I bruised or broke my tail bone a few years back. Thanks to my brother's burning desire to throw me from a wave runner, I occasionally have difficulty sitting for long periods of time. So why I thought that a spin class would be fun, I do not know. I strode into the class a bit early. I was sporting my only matching Adidas workout shorts and top. (thanks Ross Dress for Less) My hair was in a messy pony tail, ready to bike my butt and gut away. The room had two giant screens projecting scenes from the tour de France. I suppose this was to make the participants feel like we were really biking, not just going nowhere. The instructor was an adorable perky gal with an amazing bod. I glanced around the room looking for a bike near the back. Score...back right corner! I must have looked like a complete moron attempting to adjust the bike, because the instructor came bouncing over and suggested that she take over. I need to mention that the bike seat was about four sizes too small in my opinion. Where was the beginner banana seat with a back rest?? I hoisted myself onto the minuscule seat and began a workout from hell. My legs ached, my arms were weary, but my rear end was screaming in agony. My hemorrhoids that have been in "remission" flared, my rear bruising with every complete rotation of the peddles. I cursed myself for not wearing an overnight maxi pad or better yet the giant pads that I was given after giving birth to my children. Never again will I spin. So if you see me this week, I'm not walking funny because I had a good time last night!