Goodwill Hunting

I love Goodwill hunting,  I really do.  It may have become a borderline addiction.  I need to stop by every week, just to check.  I don't ALWAYS buy things.  My hubby gave me the gift of guilt free time away from the family for Mother's Day.  I was going to treat myself to a pedicure.  I was just about to pass Goodwill, but some crazy force made it impossible to pass up.  I pulled in and made my way to the door.  I pulled open the door, inhaling the musty smell of  deals to be found.  The cashier shouts, "Hey girl!  Welcome Back!"  I am telling you Goodwill is my own personal Cheers Bar, where everyone knows your name...or just calls you"girl".  I start my usual trek around the store.  I have a method, which I may or may not write in an ebook on someday.  One of my last stops in my GW routine is the dresses.  There I hit pay dirt, an Alice + Olivia dress in my size!  (shout out to google for knowing all of the designers)  This was a 230 dollar dress for 6.50, in my size!  Well, hello Mother's Day gift to me.    I gleefully make my way to the dressing room, nodding to Lurking Larry who is ALWAYS there.   I lock myself into the dressing room, pulling the dress over my head a bit snug, but I still had my shorts on underneath.  I gracefully manage pulling off my shorts, feet not touching the floor.   Now all I had to do was zip this baby up, zip this baby up, zip.  Yes, a bit tight, my diaphragm was being squeezed and  my ribs were aching due to the pressure.  

That is when I came to the realization that this dress was not for me, and the designer obviously doesn't know her sizes.    Gently tugging on the expensive zipper, it slowly moves down and then stops.  So, I tug on it a bit more aggressively...nothing.  I suck it in, envisioning my ribs shifting and yank one more time.  The zipper pull comes off in my sweaty palm.   I begin to panic.  Sweat begins to trickle down my back  while attempting to yank the dress around so I could take a look at the zipper.   My sweat is not helping the situation, nor is the fact that Lurking Larry pounds on my door asking if I need any help.   My God, what if I need to have Lurking Larry help me!  That thought alone caused my panic to hit epic levels.  Taking a shallow breath, to calm my nerves it dawns on me, I will need to channel my inner MacGyver.  Seriously, WWMD?  

The solution came to me just as I was about to pass out due to lack of air.  A pen, I can use a pen!  I jam the pen into the tiny hole that once held the zipper pull.  I tug a bit, nothing... I yank this time cursing under my breath and it MOVES!  It takes me about 10 minutes, finally freeing me of the evil vice.  Free at last...    35 minutes in the dressing room, sweat glistening on my brow, and Lurking Larry's expression as I walked out...priceless.