Lucky Sucky

Middle C is on a roll, I need to take her to Vegas. If you live in Texas, you are very familiar with the "Buddy Bucks". They are the grocery stores idea of rewarding kids for good behavior in the store. If your kid is good, you can ask for buddy bucks and your kiddo can put it in the machine and "win" points. The points can be traded in for various crap made in China. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea and my kids love getting the sticker points. There is however, the slim possibility of being an instant winner.  The odds are slim unless you are Middle C ,your sister has a poopy diaper, and is screaming... that is apparently the lucky combo. Last week, I went to the store to grab four quick items.  Baby A was having no part in the quick trip.  She pooped in the 5 minutes it took me to grab my stuff and get in line.  She was being good for sitting in her own stink, and Middle C was on her best behavior.  I requested a buddy buck for her...she put the money in, and pushed the button.  I had already made it almost to the exit, when I heard the shrill scream of victory.  "I am a winner mommy!"  I whooped and hollered for her.  A screamed and attempted to head butt my chest in desperation.  C skipped to the line we had to stand in to get her prize.  The line was 7 people long waiting to pay electric bills, get money orders, and who knows what else.  A was losing it as each minute ticked by.  She yanked out her hair band, threw her socks and shoes, and then proceeded to attempt in take off her diaper.  Middle C was oblivious to my pain. She was skipping in a circle chanting, "I am a winner, I am a winner."  After 15 minutes in line, C pranced out of the store with her coloring book and lollypop.  I followed with crap on my shirt, snot in my hair, and a pissed off baby.   Today I went to the store again, A pooped (must be something about the grocery store that brings on bowel movements) started screaming, and lucky ducky C was an instant winner yet again. joy

Shiny Happy People Pooping Beads

Middle C likes to put things in her mouth. She is four, but still has some sort of oral fixation going on, my fault I'm sure. I am constantly telling her to not put things in her mouth. The other day we watched the Magic School Bus meets Digestion. It was all about what happens when you eat. Middle C, glances over at me and asks,"So what if I swallow a quarter?" I told her that it could hurt her delicate insides since it was so big, and she would have to go to the Doctor. After discussing the quarter, she continued to assault me with question after question of objects that she could potentially swallow. The following day she slinks into my bedroom and tells me that she is a scientist and she is "having a secret experiment". I kiss her on the forehead and mummer, "that is awesome that you want to be a scientist." I suppose that I should have probed for more information... That evening she excitedly waddles into the living room, with her princess panties around her ankles. "Check out my poop mommy, my experiment worked, I pooped out a bead, and it is still a shiny, sparkly, green. It did not even hurt, I am a real scientist now!"

Baby Daddy

I love that all three of my girls look different. We have a brunette, blond, and redhead. The other day, I had to take all three to the dentist. Yeah, good times. Middle C was in the chair giggling because she burped in the face of the dental hygienist. E was studying the pictures of decayed teeth and making gagging sounds, and baby A was squirming and head butting me in the hopes of getting put down. The hygienist is smiles and pipes up with, "Your girls all look so different, do they have the same father?" I'm sure the look on my face was priceless... Bless her sweet little rude heart.

Humility

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Last Sunday, I was so proud of getting all three girls off to church on time, hair done, matching outfits, feeling awesome. The sermon was on humility, about halfway through the sermon, my one year old vomits all over me. I humbly walk out of the church mid sermon covered in vomit, avoiding eye contact. Awesome, thanks for the lesson.