Don't Mess With My Toot Toot

Jeff and I have been kicking around the idea of another kiddo at some point. I know that deep down, he would love a boy. Although tonight it dawned on me, who really needs a boy when we have a Claire. Claire's new little thing is that she wants you to lay on the floor with her before going to bed. She likes chattering on about her day and tooting. Yes, that is right my little princess lets it all out before bedtime. Tonight we were laying on the floor and I was singing to her. She was twirling a piece of my hair in her little fingers when she let out one of the loudest toots I have ever heard. She whispered ,"excuse me" and then started giggling. I couldn't help myself and started laughing too. Mid giggle, she lets another one rip, and another and another. By this time, I was laughing so hard that tears were running down my cheeks. I could feel her little body tense as she attempted to one up her last pass of gas. We were both cracking up when she abruptly stopped giggling and said in a panicked little voice, "Oh, no ...I pooped!"

The Pathetic Princess

Once upon a time, in a not far enough away land called Germville there lived two little Princesses. Princess Elle enjoyed nothing more than putting on a show. She excelled at turning the most minuscule injury into a full blown catastrophe. Her apprentice and sister Princess Claire was a very fine study. She was quite adept at taking mental notes to increase her repertoire of limping, moaning, dramatic coughing, and wheezing. One day Elle was gallivanting through the enchanted play yard with her friends, when someone let out an oink, and then another playmate followed suit. The Queen was particularly nervous upon hearing the oinking. The next week Princess Elle awoke feeling a tad bit warm. The queen felt her head and was concerned. Elle took a deep breath and coughed. Terrified that her oldest Princess would begin to oink, the queen marched the princess to the doctor. The doctor chuckled as the Princess attempted to cough and bat her deep brown eyes. Rest, fluid, and a tea spoon of sugar should do the trick. The queen was relieved by the lack of oinking. She hugged princess Ella, snuggled up with her and told her a story. Princess Claire noticing the cuddles and pats that her sister was receiving decided to put on a show. She coughed, she moaned, she limped, she may have even attempted an oink or two. Princess Ella sighed and whispered to her sister, " I'm really sick Claire, I went to the doctor. You are not sick." The Queen was on to the act and gave Princess Claire the attention that she was craving. After the little princess were in bed the exhausted Queen took a deep breath and drank a whole bottle of whine...I mean wine.

The end

Flood, Mud=camping dud

My new motto when asked to go camping again..."Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business". I am a proud 8 hour camping survivor. Who knew camping could be so ...fun? Storms, lightning, mud, oh my! There were, I must admit glimmers of "fun", but that all seemed to be washed down the gully along with layers of soil when the storm hit. Who knew that the meteorologists would be correct when predicting 90% chance of rain? I bit my tongue and did not yell, "told you so" at the top of my lungs. I sucked it up to the best of my ability. The pictures were before the torrential down pour. I learned that it is all fun and games until lighting strikes 60 feet from you. The crack of thunder after the lighting sent the kiddos screaming in terror. We all evacuated to our cars and sat while the rain battered the car. Once the storm seemed to let up we checked the damage, our tent was sitting in about 1 inch of water. The girls and I carefully waded through the mud and water to the tent. We had just gotten comfortable when we herd a loud thud and yelling. Apparently, a tree fell on the corner of a tent next to ours. I called my girlfriend on the verge of tears, she informed me that another strong band of storms was coming through soon. So, we all decided to cut our losses and get the heck out of there.

Tent sitting in 1 inch of rain, lightning 60 feet away, mud caked in between my toes...never feeling guilty about not "trying" camping...priceless!.

High ho it's off to camping we go

Rain, rain coming this way
70% chance the weathermen say

While you are warm, dry, and cozy in your bed,
I will be cursing and wishing my husband dead.

We are heading out tomorrow morning in the RAIN. I have tried to convince Jeff to go without me and just to take Ella. No luck so far. So much for my virginal camping trip being blissfully fun. If he were smart he would let me stay home, and go next time when there is not a chance of torrential rain and lightning. Really, he is trying to sell me on this "fun" why not wait until conditions are a bit more...dry??? I hate being wet, wet socks, mud, whiny kiddos stuck in a tent. F U N ????

Nibble Nibble like a ...

Chomp, chomp, sniff, sniff...Claire's mommy is in a tiff. Today I was called out of my dance class at the gym because of my sweet little angel, Claire. The child care worker calmly informed me that Claire had bitten another child and drew blood. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes and she explained that if a child bites they must be immediately removed from the building. My sweet girl a violent criminal, what did I do wrong in my parenting? I went into the child care center and saw her sitting in time out, she looked up at me and flashed her winning smile, "Hi mommy!" I got on her level and attempted not to lose it. I was mortified and so disappointed in my kiddo. I did not raise her to be a menace. I felt horrible for the poor other child that received the wrath of her little teeth. After signing a legal document about the incident, I swiftly escorted my girls out of the building sobbing. Claire went to time out for quite a while and then had to play alone in her room. She is only 2 and a half so I can't keep her in her room all day. This is only the second time she has done this, the other time she bit her older sister AFTER Ella bit her. I read on the web that this is typical behavior for a 2 year old, but it did not make me feel any better. Right now Claire is happily chowing down on her PB&J, while humming twinkle twinkle. What am I doing? I'm feeling guilty about what happened. By now I should come to terms with the fact that motherhood and guilt go hand in hand.