Wiggle me, this wiggle me that...

Ella discovered the Wiggles at our local gym. Sometimes they will put on a movie for the kiddos. Lucky me...Ella fell in love with them. I thought the tela tubbies were bad. The wiggles feature four fun loving Australians, a pirate, and a dinosaur. Ella checked out a DVD from the library today. The guy missing the eyebrows was singing "Fruit Salad" in Spanish... ahhh, the irony!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC--VwYTHAM

Yuck

I got into my car this afternoon and noticed a smell, I couldn't place it . I got back in the car after leaving it in the parking lot, 100 degree heat. There is nothing nastier than curdled soy milk. The cup was hiding under the seat.

Just a random thought.... I was at HEB yesterday and noticed more than one man "adjusting" himself. I was told adjusting was just a more polite way of saying, picking, scratching, or maneuvering junk. How come men can do that whenever, where ever yet we women have to do this in private. Why??

Danger Danger

Sorry I have not been posting as much. I started reading the Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield and I just couldn't put it down. It was the BEST book.

Last night my friend and I went to visit one of my other friends that just got back from her honeymoon. After several glasses of wine, my single friend decided to show us her match.com page. You have all heard about the dangers of drunk dialing...well in this day and age there is something called drunk "winking". On match.com you can wink at people to let them know that you find them interesting. Picture this three tipsy women looking at a ton of men looking for love on line. I will admit there are some really interesting guys, some hot and some ...not. My poor friend was urged to wink at twelve too many guys thanks to the wine.

I have an idea for my next career... helping men create their profiles. Some were great, but many were really bad. I think that men in general are just clueless about what to post. I could "pimp that match"! To all you guys out there, please keep your shirt on in the picture, don't use your high school photo when you are 30, and please don't post pictures with your old girlfriend hanging on you.

PMS

It strikes at the most inopportune times. I feel my blood pressure rise at the littlest infraction. My daughter's whining seem to be at a fevered pitch. My face resembles a teenager and I just want to rip someones head off.

Jeff came home yesterday to find a wife that was a little less than pleasant. I tried to warn him when he called. My warning went something like this, "I do not want you to come home from your hiking trip and throw all of your dirty crap around. I worked hard cleaning this place. By the way I am PMSing and want to be left alone." You can imaging how happy he was to be home.

I was expecting help this evening from him, but our tenants door was having issues so he left to go fix it. I had to put the kiddos to bed again. It is not his fault, but I am in need of a punching bag.

Dress up

I love that I have girls! Yesterday evening the girls and I spent a good hour playing dress up. It made me wish that I could still play with my friends. Before kiddos, my friends and I would go to the mall just to try on the ugliest of the ugly clothes. We would try things on just for a laugh. Now IF I get to the mall it is with kiddos or if I go without them I have to shop at lightning speed.

Jeff gets home tomorrow night from his trip. I have been enjoying the time alone. Since he has been gone, I finished off a whole refrigerated roll of double chocolate chip cookie dough and I did not feel guilty for not baking them. I ran the Dyson cleaner in the middle of the day (usually he is on the phone so we have to be quite). I checked Perezhilton.com several times a day and no one made a single negative comment about it. Nice!

Ella's appointment with the specialist was once again unproductive. They still don't know what is wrong, we are just going to up the medication. She did have another tummy X-ray, and if in 4 weeks things are not better we will schedule a colonoscopy. YIKES!!!

Dancing Queens

My mom and I attended the opening night of Mamma Mia at the Alamo. I was so excited about this, it was a sold out show. We live in a city known for weirdness, so I pulled out my boas and crowns and picked my mom up. I was expecting a lively crowd, full of women and gay men. (that was what the audience was like for Sex and the City). I think that my mom and I were representing the weird. I had more people ask me if we were apart of a bachelorette party. Hello ladies...ABBA, dancing queen!! I have seen the musical twice and have the feeling most of the audience had not seen the Broadway production. Some people raved about it, it was a fun campy movie. The movie did have its flaws...it not merely that Pierce Brosnan cannot sing; it is that he looks so uncomfortable doing it. You couldn't help but cringe. He still looks good in a suit, but with his shirt off ...nasty. Back hair, chest hair, oh my!! I happen to prefer the hairless variety.

Over the river and into the woods

Jeff left yesterday to go hiking in the Gila Wilderness in New Mexico with two other friends. He will be gone for a few days. One of the other wives asked me if I was worried, since there have been reports of mountain lion and bear attacks. I can honestly say that I am not too worried. My hubby is the skinniest of the group, there are more meaty options about! However, if something like an attack does happen, perhaps I will be interviewed on the Today show. I kid, I kid!!!

I personally find nothing wonderful about sleeping in a tent, eating dehydrated eggs with ham and then on top of it having to haul all of my crap around on my back. Apparently this is fun?? Jeff insisted on carrying a few extra ounces just so he could take some whiskey. I suppose you do need to have at least one creature comfort.

I leave for Vegas in two weeks...now that is fun. No kiddos, just my girlfriends. On another note, I have another appointment with the GI specialist tomorrow. Ella is still having the same symptoms...so I have no idea what the next step will be.

Meow!

Ok, I try, I really do try to think nice thoughts. Sometimes they just materialize in my head for no reason whats so ever. On more then one occasion I have been at church and having just been absolved of my sins and have a catty thought. I look over and see a pre-teen wearing a little skimpy dress or top. I can't help but think, "what were her parents thinking? She should not be wearing that". Maybe I am the only one with such a personality flaw??

At the gym the other day, it happened again. There are these three girls that attend my dance class that just irritate me. They think that they are hot stuff. I have heard them snickering behind my back a few months ago because of my panty line. Shock of shocks...I do wear panties! Well, anyway... all three of them showed up wearing matching camouflage pants and black tanks. Are we in drill team? I mean come on... these are not little college students, these are grown women! Since I am feeling catty I will just keep it going... one of the women wears enough blush to be in the circus. We are not on stage, cut it with the lipstick, eyeshadow, and blush. Thank goodness Sunday is just around the corner, my brain is working overtime!

Update: the panty line hating woman showed up for class today in white pants, very see through white pants... no panty line. It is a good thing that she may be a natural blond or else it would have been quite a show! So ladies, wear your panty lines and wear them proudly!!!

who do I think I am?

I had a great time with my bro in Dallas. He really made my birthday special. We went to the taste of Dallas downtown in the afternoon. It was mecca for free crap. We got shots of vitamin water, spam burgers, chips and who could forget my free can of "Mexican salsa". I can't tell you what a pleasure it was to be carting that can in my purse. But hey... if you saw my brothers lackluster pantry/ fridge then you would go the extra mile to fill it too! I think one of the highlights was test driving the new Genesis hyundai. Afterwards, were were asked to speak to a video crew. They are apparently working on making a commercial with peoples reactions to the car. I pulled out all of the stops and gushed on and on about this car...hyundai, who knew. So, if you see me in the commercial please keep in mind that I had had two beers. No one should really be that happy about a car. (FYI my brother did the driving, I sat in the backseat and left a pretty impressive sweat mark as I exited the car) Do you really need leather when it is 101 degrees?
That evening we ventured to Mr. Sushi for a great meal and then to a dueling piano bar. I am 33 and should know better by now, that my body does not react well to alcohol. For some reason, I felt that I needed to keep up with my 24 year old brother. I had a great time...Fell down twice, made a new BFF, and felt the need to drunk dial my hubby. The morning was brutal. Driving 3 1/2 hours back home was pure agony. I can't wait to go and visit him again... really!

Tasteless

I went into the design center with all of the confidence in the world. Jeff having battled the stomach bug last night limped along next to me. I tried to get him to reschedule, but his words to me last night were, "let's shit or get off the pot with this house." Little did he know that he would be embracing that motto all night long. Oh, that sales lady was good, she had me thinking that I was a interior decorator.

I felt confident with my design choices when I got home. I had taken a picture of the tile, carpet,backslash, and granite together just so I would remember and show my mom that I was a big girl. I downloaded the pictures excited to email them to my mom and then I looked at them. What the heck was I thinking? I was not designing a bachelor pad. The granite counter tops were so dark, the tile so... I don't know. I am just sick. I need to go back and change everything. With my tail between my legs, I will need to go and ask my mom to come with me. Ok so even rich people have their designers pick everything out right? I just hope that we can convince the center to not charge us for another "sitting". I am including the picture of the sink faucet because I KNOW that I like it.

going once, going, twice...SOLD

We have decided to buy a new house. I am bordering in feeling excited to just plain sick to my stomach. We go to the design center tomorrow to pick out the fun stuff. This is never very fun for me. For this house, I remember leaving the center in tears because I realized that I really have no taste and I need my mom. So... yes we had to schedule another appointment so that she could come. OK. that was 6 years ago, I think that I may have developed good taste, but who knows? I hope there is a really good sales person working , because it can get overwhelming. I would really love for someone to point out that umm.. yeah that really doesn't look good, or you might want to rethink that.

On another note, I have recovered from the trip. Unfortunately, it seems that Claire is not feeling well. She did not eat any dinner last night and only ate one bite of breakfast. She has no other symptoms so I am just crossing my fingers. I get to get the heck out of here and visit my bro for the weekend in Dallas. It will be Daddy time 24/7 for two days.

Vomit, diarrhea, ER, Oh My!!!

And so the saga begins...

We left for the Chicago family reunion with high hopes. I had been packing for days trying to make sure I was prepared for every little possible issue. Pants, shorts, medicines, snacks...the list goes on and on. I could not have prepared for this..

It was a beautiful 70 degrees in Chicago when we arrived. The flight was uneventful, a few tears and protests, but nothing major. The girls were thrilled to be at Gran and Opa's house. They had a fantastic day, then the storm clouds moved in... literally. The GI specialists had informed us that Ella's poor little large intestine was compacted with poo, so we had to give her a mild children's laxative. I waited until the evening we arrived to give it to her. The next morning Ella was not her usual self, we went to the park to play and she just moped around. At one point she cried and said that her tummy hurt and then she acted like she wanted to hurl. We took her home and put her down for her nap. Around 3:30 we hear a blood curdling scream. Jeff rushed up to her bedroom to find it covered in vomit. It was all over Gran's freshly pressed and starched sheets, the spotless floor, the special teddy bear.. She threw up two more times that day and then diarrhea began. It went on and on and on. We used up a package of 36 diapers in three days. Day two she tried to participate in the activities, but laid around for the most part in between diaper changes. Day three no more vomit, just more poop running down her legs all of the time. That evening, after putting the girls down I felt rumbling in my belly. I spent the whole night vomiting and using the bathroom ever 30 min. What a way to spend the night before your birthday! After sleeping three hours the entire night on the sofa, I realized that my special birthday outing into the City with out the kiddos was not going to happen. I spent the day curled up feeling miserable. Ella on day 4 of her illness was laying on the sofa, now refusing to drink anything. We tried everything to get her drink some fluids. Nothing... she was getting worse. By 4:45 we decided that she needed to go to the ER. I pulled myself together, weak and feeling like crap and got into the car. After an hour in the waiting room, we were called back. Ella is now officially terrified of doctors. She screamed bloody murder when they took blood and hooked her up with an IV. Her levels were very low, so it was a good thing we brought her in. Ella was given extra glucose and I was given a lecture on the dangers of low blood sugar, not that I could hear much of what was being said with Ella's wailing and sobbing. She screamed bloody murder and refused to lay on the bed. She was given 2 liters of fluid each liter taking an hour. Once we were done hydrating her, the nurse came in to take out the needle, more screaming. The nurse did not put pressure on the needle site after taking it out, so next thing we knew there was blood all over Jeff, Ella, and the floor. More drama... We got home dead tired around 10:00 pm. Happy Birthday to me! By this time Ella had perked up thanks to the glucose, she was back to being my talkative little girl.

The following day we packed up and headed to the airport to catch our plane. I was feeling positive that we had run out of bad luck. Ummm...no!! The flight was delayed for 4 hours. We finally boarded at 8:00 pm. The girls were sleepy, Claire tried desperately to get comfy, Ella was sprawled over out laps. Jeff and I both sighed in relief. I was holding Claire, she finally fallen asleep We had been in the air for about 20 minutes. Then it happened...she woke up abruptly and hurled all over me , the seat, the floor, the blanket. It was everywhere and we still had two more hours to go. On a positive note I did have a spare change of clothes for both girls. So yes... I sat on a wet seat and covered in vomit praying to God that the time would fly by. End of story...nope it gets worse. We are about to land, I am feeling a bit giddy and then the plane pulls up. We hear over the intercom, "there was a dead animal on the runway...we need to circle until it gets cleaned up". Son of a B*$@#! All of a sudden, Ella starts whimpering in pain, then starts crying, "my tummy.. poo poo coming out, poo poo coming out." Then we smell it, it over powers the stench of vomit. Her leg is wet, it is running down her leg. We can't do anything about it until we land. We circle for 35 excruciatingly long minutes. The poor people sitting near us, after we land the air is turned off intensifying the lovely aroma. Once we land, Jeff scrambles to the planes bathroom before people begin standing up. The bathroom will never be the same, our whole row of seats will never be the same. I would not be surprised if we get a cleaning bill from American. WE walked in the door to our house at 1:00 am, gave Ella a much needed bath and put the girls down. Moral of this story is... never say to yourself, it can't get any worse, because it CAN!!!

more to come

It is 1:15 am... we just got home from Chicago. It was a trip to remember, stomach flu, ER visit, vomit and diaper blow out on the plane. Stay tuned for a very interesting post. Now to bed!!!